While waiting at Bangkok International airport...

I have to admit: Its hard to keep a blog and treat it like a diary!

Now it must be said that the last week I really had little til no opportunity to write/type in the weblog. Extra sorry for that because so much has happened since my last entry!!

This might become a rather long entry, so I wil try to cut it into nice easy pieces with each part their own heading, haha...because if I make a seperate entry for each, then you'l read it most likely the other way round.
Wel never mind, its just me doing dificult, or easy.... just depends from your point of vieuw ;-)

To Udon Thani

From the 20th til the 23th Kik and I went to his hometown near Udon Thani, in North East Thailand. What they cal 'near' I discovered, we would say: at the other side of the country....it was a god 2 hours drive from the Udon Thani Airport to the hometown, roughly The Hague - Groningen, or The Hague - Kleef/Germany haha
Well, when we arrived we were picked up by his family, all in all I counted 10 people and got worried that he might have a real large family (though he never said it would be large). To my surprise there was only one pick-up truck with 4 aircon seats indoors and a open space in the back form goods. NO worry, Kik's father and his uncle with a baby went into the truck, Kik as well, and I was given the frontseat next to the driver, Kik's father. And the remaining7? In the open back space of the pick-up truck, with our lugage....and in the burning sun......outsite the airport, not more then one kilometer, we stopped at a busstop and another guy got in the back....Kik's brother Kukei, who left Phuket a couple of days before and went to Udon by bus ( he rather then me, but it must also be an experience, well, maybe one day for the fun of it......).

When we arrived in Kik's hometown, we were welcomed by his grandfather and mother and neighbours and remaining family.

If you like to know more about my Udon visit, just ask me to tell or write you the stories:
_ welcomingparty
- Fathers birthday (50!)
- visiting the farm of 40 rai (more then 60.000 square meters)
- the Isan Festival (140 people on stage)
- the welcoming ceremony in family/ engagement
- buying a husband??
-Mac (and not the comp!! or the hamburger joint)

You see, way too much to quickly type down here. And then I only named general headlines, because there are more things one could tell about those 3 days in Isans Udon Thani!

A principal agreement reached for taking over....

And indeed, after negotiations, which have gone one for weeks, I reached, to my big surprise within half an hour an agreement with the owner of the building and bar, etc. to lease the whole building for 3 years, starting in november 2008.
Ofcourse I wil not disclose any details here for all to read...but am happy to say that it now also includes the penthouse of the owner, so it is now really the whole building. At present it listens to the name "The Orchid Lounge".
When we'll take over in november we'll change some things immidiatly and some will grow into the new formula Kik and I would like to start, try out ;-)
Wel, one thing is certain, we'll run a really little gay boutique hotel of no more then 3 rooms. Kik and I will take up residence on the topfloor, named penthouse, which really is luxurious and wel provided (sauna, jacuzzi, big shower, big walk inn closet, airco all around, european kitchen, two terraces.well...it will do nicely for the comming years though all in all its not as big as I am used to these last years, haha....but then: how often do we actually expect to spend time there?)
And downstairs we have a nice big bar(space) with terrace. neighbour is the famous gay Paradise cabaret My Way.

Also around this subject I can make subheadings you can ask me to talk about or write, when you meet me, or mail me...
about concept idears, interior, limited outsite changes, food, drinks, hospitality, etc. Be curious and we can easily fil another evening of interestingh talk with a nice glass of wine and when cold enough, next to an open fire ;-)

Leaving Holland while going there?

Is a subject I wil now face and be working on for the next 9 months...a hell of a job, and wil have to wait and see how that will develop, but in a way its easy. After having made the choice to marry Kik, that would be the consequence, because Kik can not life in Holland , not with his background, and at least not the coming years at least! And when you marry you do not want to life seperat lives, at leat not me !! ;-)
So, another nut to crack when home!

Farewell party.... Goodby....See you again!!

It is really touching when one is given a farewell party, which is celebrated like a birthday party with gifts, flowers, and all that!
Friends from all over Patong turned up, to a party which was organised as a surprise (which it was, and for sure the way it was done!)
It was very hart not to cry now and then, but I managed ;-)
Kik was ever so wonderfull, caring, attentive, and all that.

The idear of having to miss him for the next months, really hurts....and as I could clearly notice, specially the next day when we were going to be seperated, he as well.
Originaly he wanted to bring me to airport, but then he backed out and asked to say good by at our house. He didn't want to cry and also didn't wanted me to cry....but also prefered not to see me go in public because I could see in his face he really had to fight his tears, as I had to......so it was most likely best to have the goodbye done at home and not at Phuket airport.

It hurts to let go of someone one loves and have been living with for the last 3 months, gotten engaged with, etc...and starting a business together as well.....while so much to do and then one needs to leave the country.
Can't wait to get back!!

typing mistakes / typefouten

Dear friends,

Its already a while ago I decided not to check or dubble check the spelling and typing of what I write in the blog here. It leaves my mind via my fingers and typeboard on the screen and so also your screen, as it is.

So please forgive me if I offend your language , or mine for that matter, by doing nothing to correct these unintentional mistakes.

Lets blame it on the secretary being absent!

cherio:-)))

It also becomes very exciting now!

The last weks, I have also been busy with exploring possibilities of starting a project here in Patong which could bring Kik and me the opportunity to earn a good lving.
I believe I found just the place, on an A-location, so to speak in the gay area of Patong, Paradise Complex!
If all goes well, and al lights stay on green, as they sofar still seem to do, then it will mean the beginning of fundemental change for me and a long , old wish might get fullfilled though at a totally different location then I ever thought of, namely Thailand.

In the past I allways pictured me as a kind of innkeeper, landlord, runner of a luxury Bed and Breakfast, Grand cafe, or something like that. To play the host with the customers, talk with them , etc. while your staff is taking care of their needs, only once in a while you need to hint them on what they needed to do.
First time I had this vision was when travelling with Eric trough Somerset, with Alan and Christine. MMmm, Fireplaces blasing in an old cottage-inn... or later, whe I was in Rijswijk looking for places to live and had my eyes set on a building in front of the Old Church there. A grand cafe concept with possibilities to stay one or more nights...a small hotel annec...well gues you get the picture!

Now thats exactly the opportunity which seems to present itself on a prime location and for still a decent price and so affordable with a good ceretaintly that the investment will be earned back in full if not much more...ofcourse all will depend on good and hard work.
But now that I have decided to marry Kik, and he has said yes ofcourse, it also was clear for me that I could not live in Holland and he in Thailand. Kik has no futur in Holland, he knows that! he knows his study and background can only provide a futur when he stays in Thailand (Classical Thai Dance). And because I am not bound to Holand at the moment, my choice is made easily.....strangly enough!
I thought I would be scarred stiff by the thought, but that isn't the case.
I am scarred stif though for al the work it involves to make everything fit, time wise and otherwise.

But I appoach it now as a project, like I have mastered many before, with one big difference, now I am the one taking the risks ofcourse. But if I folow the same principals, it should be okay. As far as I know, I never lost money on the projects I did for all these other people and cities, so...hopefully now I will not either!

Kik by the way is turning into a wonderfull guardian of the possible risks involved as well.

Doing business in Thailand is very different from Europe, respectively Netherlands. So preparation is the word and one has to realise that not all will go as one had planned but will happen anyway, hehe

Tomorrow will be a crucial day again, because then I have a talk with the General Manager of the Paradise Hotel, the main stakeholder in the area I like to get involved in, to hear is reaction and if I can expect any opposition or support from the hotel in the enterprise I have in mind!
Las night I talked with another quality organisation, the Simon Cabaret, yes, kiks emplyer, and they said that they could support me and maybe even link up with my enterprise if I am able to keep my vision in tact and excecute it accordingly and that I then can expect a possible very good earning out of it all...they clearly liked the concept I am thinking off....rare for Thaialnd, respectivly Patong Phuket, but not that rare for western Europe, I have to admit.

Well, we'll see.
If the next day will be as positve as the previous ones on this matter then I'll also book a return flight to Phuket for april, but then not for 4 weeks or longer but more likely for 2 up till 3 weeks....can't afford to stay away from home again for a long time.
Also a lot need to be prepared in Holland as well, to make it al work out nicely!

But if al wil go ahead, there will be the need of signing a contract, hehe...and that can only be done in person.
So, if all the details are okay (in the contract that is) and checked and double checked by laywers, then ......

okay I start to repeat myself.
have a good day all, I am off!!

Dat was een pauze! That's what one might call a break or interval!

TO all my loyal readers, sorry to have been out of the air for such a while.
A lot has been happening and also these last 8/9 days it has been very hard to get online with my Macbook and so also taking care of some updates in my weblog.
Some things can't be helped, uhum.

HOpefuly tomorrow I'l be able to come with more updates because after tomorrow I'll be of to North East Thailand, the home area of Kik, to visit his grandparents and his father, who celebrates his birthday on the 21st of january (thank God the man is older then me, just, haha)! And I believe that in the countryside of Udon Thani, or Isan as the whole region is called there is little chance on wifi or other high tech facilities...so I leave sweet dear Macbook safely at home in Patong and will start using it again from the 24th onwards...and then its only3/4 more days till I start the journey home...sniff sniff

17.58 09 01 2007 - 2008 23.58

De laatste dagen voor woensdag de 9e vroegen Thaise vrienden al zo af en toe waarom ik wat afwezig was. Gelukkig, als je dat tenminste belangrijk vindt, hebben ze me nog net niet spontaan zien huilen.
Waarom? Ik beleefde de afgelopen dagen weer de laatste dagen van mijn moeder, die vorig jaar op de 9e overleed om 2 voor zes in de middag. De laatste doktersbezoeken thuis, vervolgens eindelijk de rit met de volledig medisch uitgeruste taxibus naar het ziekenhuis. Elke herinnering, woorden gesproken tussen mijn moeder en mij, kwamen terug... ook de onbeduidende zaakjes. Zo herinnerde ik mij dat ik moeders boodschappenlijstje, de laatste door haar opgesteld, met ook spullen om van thuis mee naar haar toe in het ziekenhuis te nemen, nog steeds bij mij thuis ligt. Maar ook de laatste woorden die wij beiden bewust tegen elka ar hebben gezegd...en tja, dan ging er vaak spontaan ook een kraantje open. Vooral de 9e zelf was best moeilijk. De hele dag toen met Ma in het ziekenhuis doorgebracht, maar haar helaas niet meer bij volle bewustzijn meegemaakt. De zorgen, elke handeling van de artsen, de gesprekken met verplegers, onderzoeken, uiteindelijk de gang naar de IC, de telefoongesprekken met mijn broer en zus. Je broer en zus moeten bellen dat ze nu echt moesten opschieten (alsof ze dat al niet probeerden, maar dat kon ik toen ook niet ruiken). Dat de dokters gezegd hadden dat Ma het niet meer zou redden vandaag. Enfin, een heleboel emotionele herinneringen die allemaal terugkomen als een film die in je hofd draait.... dan weer terugspoelend en dan weer vooruit maar uitzetten, nee dat kon nu net dus niet.
Gelukkig had Kik vrij kunnen krijgen Van Simons Cabaret en konden we de avond weggaan, naar Phuket Fantasea. Was daar nog nooit geweest en moets spectaculair zijn. Goed, dus ook het diner erbij geboekt. Goedkoop, ook naar Thaise begrippen , was het niet. Zoiets als een avondje naar het Circustheater gaan bij ons.

Maar moet gezegd: afgeleid werd ik, en of ik wilde of niet, kreeg geen kans met mijn gedachten af te dwalen naar het ziekenhuis anno 2007. Mar goed, honderden spelers/figuranten, 16 olifanten, buffalo's, gigantische decors die wisselden, klassieke thaise dansen, cabaret, illusonisten, en luchtacrobatiek boven je hoofd ana het plafond (logisch)...wat weer bijzonder was want nog niet eerder heb ik 8 luchtacrobaten synchroon ieder op zijn eigen plek een hele serie zien afwerken...echt indrukwekkend.
Enfin, ik kan hiervan een hele beschrijving geven, maar dat komt dan wel een andere keer.
Goed, werd dus knap sterk afgeleid en rond half elf verlieten wij het 'theater' complex die iets weghad van een kerstmarkt, Efteling en Circustheater gecombineerd. O, en er werden de hele tijd kerstmuziek gespeeld!
We waren in Kamale dus had Kik met zijn moeder afgesproken hetgeen ik heel passend vond, symbolisch gezien.
Maar goed, dat laatste uurtje naar 2 voor 12 (2 voor zes in Nederland dus) was lichtelijk slopend. Had graag afgezonderd willen zitten rond het 'uur U' maar juist toen brak er een stortbui los en dan ga je met voldoende verstand niet de weg op. Dus zaten we in een poolbar langs de weg....denk dat Ma daar wel hartelijk om zou hebben gelachen.

Het 'uur U" nadert gestaag, en even voor 2 voor middernacht (2 voor 6 namiddag in Nederland) maak ik een smsje klaar naar mijn broer en zus met "proost, op ma!" nadat ik ze een half uurtje eerder al had ge-smst dat 2 voor 6 Nederlandse tijd, 2 voor middernacht Thaise tijd wij 3-en stil zouden staan bij en proosten op Ma......en zo, net als een jaar geleden, allemaal samen zouden zijn, ook al zaten we op verscheidende plekken op deze aardbol!
In die open poolbar, aan die tafel met Kiks moeder en Kik zelf, voelde ik me neens ontzettend droevig worden, het gemis raakte me vol in het gezicht....raar wat symboliek kan doen over de tijd met iemand. De hele tijd zag ik het beeld vor me van mijn moeder en wij 3-en in dat laatste half uur, laatste kwartier, laatste minuten...zo ontzetend vreemd.

Kik vroeg ineens, waarom ik plotseling zoveel rookte? De ene sigaret na de ander passeerde mijn lippen.......ik keek hem eerst afwezig aan. HIj vroeg of alles goed was. Toen realiseerde ik mij wat hij gevraagd had en antwoordde ik: " IN het ziekenhuis mocht ik vorig jaar niet roken, en mijn hemel, wat snakte ik er toen juist naar...vandaar, want ik beleef alles weer opnieuw en zo echt, maar nu zit ik toch niet meer in het ziekenhuis en kan ik wel roken. Zie het maar als plaatsvervangende stress afweer"
Toen, om 2 voor 6 barste ik in alle heftigheid weer in huilen uit, midden in die poolbar (de lokatie interesseerde me even helemaal niet). Met tranen in de ogen, drukte ik op de verzendknop van mijn mobiele telefoon naar mijn zus en broer en proostte ik op Ma's welzijn, waar ze ook mocht wezen!
De moeder van Kik sloeg de arm om mij heen en zei dat ik niet moest huilen. KIk zei vervolgens dat als ik huilde dat dan met positieve gevoelens moest zijn want anders hield ik Ma's ziel vast en kon zei zich niet bevrijden van deze wereld om zich op de volgende voor te bereiden, een hopelijk betere!
Een mooie gedachte!
Een par tellen later kwamen gelijkluidende smsjes binnen van mijn zus en broer! Wat een warm gevoel, dat we allemaal het zelfde hadden gedaan op het zelfde moment!!!
Net als een jaar geleden voelde ik me weer erg warm en, gek genoeg, ook erg gelukkig en blij hoe alles gelopen was.
In de rotsvaste overtuiging dat Ma dat ook was en is!

Weer een paar tellen later, kon ik me de emoties voor 2 voor van mij afschudden. En ik zei tegen Kik en zijn moeder: "Zo, en dan gaan we nu het leven vieren!".

Nouuuuu, dat heb ik geweten!! Het is uiteindelijk een bijzondere nacht geworden hier in Phuket Patong.
En knap laat en een klein beetje teut maar rolde ik in de vroege ochtend mijn mandje in. Blij en droevig tegelijk, maar blij nog het sterkst. Ma was wederom passend uitgewuifd.

Christmas and New Year and the 7th of October 2008

Hehe, what a week has that been, pffffff

Xmas celebrations started here on Xmaseve with parties all over..... I went to in total 4 parties that evening/night. Among, have to say, also a birthday celebration. The evening before two bosses of Simon Cabaret celebrated their birthdays with a white party at the More Bar in centre Paradise Complex here in Patong. Quite an affair, because the whole Simon crowd turned out ofcourse.
A crowd by the way I was seeing much more of this last week, and can tell you, not at all booring!

Normally I spend Xmas eve with my mum, but last year I didn't, because we were going to travel together to my sister the next day for a special Xmas lunch she had organised for our direct family. Sadly two weeks later my mother passed away, so in fact we al have been very hapy to have celebrated that Xmas with her in a special way: for a long time my brother and sister and me celebrating together, and O what did my mother enjoyed that!!
Well, one of the reasons being here is that I wanted to add a very new series of memories connected with those days of Xmas, and New Year, BUT not to forget her...which is, I found out, quite impossible. It hits you at the most unexpected moments, so also during all these parties I went to during Xmas.

In the next couple of days I wil download new pictures, made during these last weeks, so you can have a look at them at your leisure!

Last year, on the 31st I made a trip with my mother along all the places she enjoyed visiting when she was living in The Hague with my father and after that with us children.
This time I went on a special gay trip, yea yea, with Kik, with Club One Seven, and as last year (march) it turned out into a very cool, and fun excursion. With lots of swimming below the cliffs of one of the ilands.

We had to hurry back to Patong, just to be in time to drop Kik of at Simon Cabaret, because he had two shows to play. The show must allways go on, is something they live by here, hehe.
After having taken a shower myself, I went to the area of Paradise complex, also known as the gay area here, to wait for Kik and to celebrate the new year together.

I waited in the Orchid Bar, the place were we met for the first time on the first day of my last previous stay in Patong last march (5th). He arrived 5 minutes before midnight, haha... I had ordered a special bottle of sparkling white wine and together with the owner and another friend we settled for the arrival of 2008.
Just before the clock hit 12 I asked Kik to give our friendshipring back to me, and I put it on the table next of me, together with my own. He loked pussled and maybe even a little bit frightend...cruel?? well, read on!

At midnight I wished him a splendid New Year and 2008 hoping that all his wishes may come true! He then wished me in a special way the same for me and while the other two present could only look on, we fel in eachothers arms....then I asked him if he would like to marry me, and he said YES!
Only then I put the ring back on his finger, and he did the same with mine.tears in our eyes, and also, I found out in the two onlookers who got the meening and were very much enjoying it al.

I told Kik, now he had said yes I would like to marry him on the 7th of October this year, which also happens to be my 50th birthday. I was allready planning a damn nice party then, so now I could add this as the new highlight of that event...if ofcourse all goes well, hehe.

Ofcourse, we both tried to hit the phone to call the people we care most about and after some toruble I at least managed to call my close family and best friends to wish them a happy new year and tell them the good news. I thank them al for their support and feeling happy for me!!

After all that calling and finishing the bottle of wine and an extra load of wine from the woner, we set out to circle the bars to wish the people we know there also a happy new year.....in the end ofcourse we wound up with the Simon Gang, as I sometimes like to call them, and hit on Galaxy, the thai disco here...and it was allmost daylight and new year in Nethwerlands, when we fell a sleep, satisfied but exhausted.

On the 1th Kik first visited Temple to do his new year prayers and after we went to visit his mother and brother at Kamala, were I asked her if she had any objections. After a couple of questions in english and a lot of thai words exchanging she warmly agreed and said she was happy for us.
First we needed to explain that men could marry eachother in Holland and that that was excactly what I intended to do with Kik, on the 7th of October. That I was not interested in a fake marriage or just a blessing ceremony, men have here in Thailand but that I wanted only the real thing for him and me.

The evning of the 1th went roughly the same way as the 31th, hehe, with the exception that this time we, Kik and I, because I was invited to join , had to change in a special kind of outfit. After having done so, we went to Paradise, and all of the Simon Cabaret people met there with the big boss of Simon, and in parade roughly 60/80 people all dressed a like, ventured inside the gay street and visited the main bars and cabaret places there as a group. Being the only farang (white guy) in the Simon delegation, I got some atention from tourists and hotel/bar owner, who were wondering what I did in the Simon crowd. Well, it seems that they accept me fully and see them as one of them, in a way that is, as the friend, boyfriend of Kik.
And its great fun to witnes how organisations like Simon, go to relations elsewhere in patong, to wish the owners a happy and prosperous new year! Handing out gifts to the owner and most senior staff and ofcourse receiving back as well.
I understood that this excercise was and is a tradition of Simons on the first day of the new year.
After the whole bunch tooko over the More Bar and after having drunk that place empty most of us went, O yes, again, the Galaxy.
But this time, Kik and I managed to leave earlier then other days, saying I wa snot feeling well...so we manged to be in bed by 4 am in the morning...waking up 10 hours later!!
Hapy now, because I so needed a decent night sleep I can assure you!
Also I ned to get back in some kind of normal ritm again, because that had gone out of the window this last week.

So, also happy to fill in , though I know it has been a long story again, the last weeks events a little bit.

Next time I hope also to download pictures made that time, and maybe add some more stories, but definitly shorter ones, haha
HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS AND THAT YOU ALL MAY HAVE A BLESsED, HEALTHY, PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR AND THAT WISDOM MIGHT BE YOUR LEAD!