Back in Holland....

Yesterday I arrived safe and sound in Delft again after a period of being away of more then 7 months!
I don't know who of you has experiences with being away from such a long time but everything feels very normal and same time one feels like one has to get to know a lot again.... like being a stranger in oyur own home ;-)

What didn't help was that my mobilephone was blocked (about that I write in my next entry!) and as such I could not let anybody know I was really back in The Netherlands... I was lucky though that taco and Wilma were at the airport to welcome me back and bring me to Delft, where my home still is ofcourse.
They were very kind and had bought me the most essential items to tie me over on this sunday till the shops opened up again today (monday).... yep, am back in Holland which still manages to survive without a 24/7 shopping fascility on almost every corner like THailand ;-)!

It felt weird though, walking around my own city again after such a long time, weird indeed and same time everything is so familiar.
Also what one finds when one gets back home: a big pile of mail to work trough, disconnected phonelines and internet because I cancelled them before I left for Thailand with Kik. No TV, no internet, nothing...how to solve??

Well, I simply asked my neighbours who live at the back of my (canal)house if they had wifi and if they were willing to allow me to use that. Happy to say they said yes and so I can now start working my laptop again and at least be in touch via the comp and skype with the outsite world again, Yippie.

Surprising saidi came to the house yesterday, a gamble on his part. So unexpected I found myself in pleasant company aaand for the first time could talk about my weddingday with someone who actually shared the whole day with me but I hadn't seen and spoken to since the day ended becaue kik and I left the next day for Thailand.
STrange or not, it feels pleasant for me to be able to talk about that day having not bene able to al this time except with Kik that is ofocurse, haha.

Well, it stands to reason that quickly that first evening I went to bed early and had a wonerfull peacefull sleep.

Now, monday, busy the whole day to get the rest of the weeks organised, to do what needs to be done an prepare again for a long time of being away again.

O, did some shopping today: the pices, brrrrr... some stuff is really expensive though some are cheap... it seems that the Thai prices are firmly engraved in my mind... another weird thing to get rid off... Today I had to pay AH a rather large sum for a pittiful amount of stuff, at least if I compare this to my shopping at Carrefour in Jungceylon n Patong Beach that is.... well, am back so it belongs to being here!
But also was very happy to be able to drink some decent wine again for a decent price :-))))!

Thats it for now folks, talk to you later again and I'll start with the mobile phone business which keps me rather away from a lot of people still ;-)

Long hair experience or just a case of midlife crisis? ;-)

Second picture:
Night before Queensnight, a birthdayparty and can you see my long hair???
First picture:
Well, some (or maybe even most) of you guys who know me longer then since today, know I was or have allways been fascinated by long hair. Never though I contemplated to have long hair myself.
Why you ask? Well several reasons:
1st and most important I had the feeling it didn't suit my face, too big, round or whatever you want to call it and long hair would only make that look stronger.. a look I didn't like;
2d when one wants long hair.. it rather takes a while and one has to get trough a fase where ones hair is rather wild in appearance and when one has lots of wrong turning "kruinen" (sorry, do not know the english word right now so you have to look it up in your dutch-english dictionary) it goes in al directions, and mostly not the most fashionable ones, haha.... and I have to admit, I have allways cared for at least a little bit how I looked, though maybe, over the years not as much as I should have.
3d I also thought I hated the uncomfi feeling of hair growing longer, making one feel warmer, and allways when summer arrived I had the urge of whatever attempt I made to let it go in favor of a short, cooling haircut....


Well, cal it midlife crisis or whatever else one wants to cal it, but since I arrived back in Thailand I thought: I want to have this long hair experience without all that trouble to go trough to find out what it is, if it would have at all suited me, etc..... and then Thai friends told me about the hairextensions, yes yes, you read it correctly.... real hair and not at all expensive and one does not need to go trough the itchie fase of longer growing hair, the wild looking part, etc.. or blablabla

So, knowing, when I more and more started to contemplate the experiment of the long hair experience, that I would go back to Holland in May, that hairextensions seem to have a life span of roughly 3 months, if lucky longer I had to decide latest early february what to do, if I at al wanted that experience and in such a warm climate at that! Well.. the answer was YES, why not?
Kik agreed so the deed was done!

And now dear readers, yours trukly is allready walking around with long hair since february... hardly visible on pictures because mostly I wear it in a 'ponytale' or whatever you want to call it.
Its a lot of fun though, though I know its not the same as own grown long hair, it gets as close as one can get.
Also its way less warm, contrary to what I expected, and it actually didn't look that bad at al, even made my face less big.
Seing and hearing that and remarks about it, made me judge the long hair experience as a positive one!

BUT now I will leave for Holland in a weeks time and now I am contemplating to have the extensions removed or not...

Hope some of you guys reading this can help me out with some advice here?

Have no pics of me with long hair, only one of my back, hehe, with hair til below my shoulders right now (i has grown a good 2/3 centimeters since it was put into my hair)

Black Queensday or just the opposite....

Right: Queen Beatrix of The Netherlands; Left: Flag half mast on the"Ouwe Jan" the tower of the Old Church near my house in Delft!

.... Lucky we were all still oblivious of the events which turned this years Queensday not in its normal happy Orange Queensday-mood, but in a true Black Queensday. One nobody who saw or heard of it will ever forget, for sure when one is Dutch,where ever we Dutch may live! The images of this useless and O so costly attack in human lives on the Queen and her family are impossible to errase from our minds. sadly we will never know why this guy caused so much havoc and death on what has allways been a day of true and happy honest celebrations of our nations connection with our Royal Family and our Queen as a symbol of our unity amidst all the disagreements we seem to like to cherish so much. Orange is their name, and orange has become the color with which the Dutch enjoy showing their unity as we can see during major sportsevents like European and/or World Soccer Championships and the Olympic Games. A color, recognised everywhere in the world as one symbolising the Dutch, more then our national flag, more then our tulips, cheese, wooden shoes and windmills.
Well it did happen and we all will have to live with it and am sure we all do our best to make its memory fade with the years though we know we'll never succeed!
We can only pray that the actions of this nutcase, if I may be so bold to state, will prove to be an islotaed incident which will not lead to such drastic security measures by the authorities that the spontanious caracter of Queensday and the celebration of it with our Queen will not suffer form it, that would be too much of an invasion on the spirit of our day off celebrating our unity as a people amidst, as it seems, a more and more insecure world where respect for live, liberty, religion, sexuality etc. seems more and more under duress by minorities who seem unable to cope with these changes for, what I believe will be in time a better and more peacefull world!
Useless attacks. like the one on Black Quensday, tend only to scare people and make governements take more and more restricting measures or radicalise....... and as such create the opposite effect of what we as people look for and want to have! I can only hope that the Dutch Governement and our Royal Family will not give in to fear and instead will lead us a way from that by giving the right example. Too much fear is allready starting to control our lives, exploited also by some political parties. A fear we should never give in to because it makes us less then what we are and,I believe, definitly want to be ! Fear has allways been a bad advisor anyway!
So the attack on our Queen and her family, and the sacrifice by the people who had to die unvolluntary on Black Queensday, will hopefully turn into a positive mood among our people and will make them hate those who like to exploit and broaden the fears amongst us, which is so easily done at times but always brings disaster in all kinds!

Happy to say that the attitude of our Queen and her family is one of not giving in to those fears, just as we might have expected from members of this family, who, trough the years/centuries have managed to show one way or another to rise above such fears. Hopefully our governement of the day will show same attitude and will show our people the way, together with our Queen, to the road out of a society filled with fear of what people don't know. But also show us what we gain by embrasing diversity instead of rejecting it. In matters small or big, in the end its all still same same but different!!
As a nation we once grew and flourished because of that attitude, we now refer to it with mild or big reference as The Golden Age, why should we not start to look for a new Golden Age based on some of the same as what made our small, in size, nation grow so big and floorish but then in a different, modern way. maybe then we can look at Black Queensday as a positive turning point for our people, our attitudes, mentality etc................
But maybe then again, it might just be a dream, wishfull thinking... though I sincerily hope not !!

Peanutbutter and ........ = missing home?

Picture left: Trying to look angry and upset because "where in the hell are my stroopwafels and my Duyvis (!!) peanutbutter, who took a cigar without asking!"
Now 6 weeks ago a couple of Dutch friends arrived here in Patong Beach (about them more later in another 'little' contribution).
They had brought some typical Dutch products with them, which you can not find here, or at least not the desired brands and tastes that goes with it.
Among these items were peanutbutter from Duyvis with peanutchunks in them, yea yea mmmmm, they don't make them like that anywhere else in the world...you realise that when you live far away from the source. And to think I was upset when the factory, where they make this special & delicious peanutbutter, moved from my hometown Delft to some area in Rotterdam the other year. Because after having opened the first jar of peanutbutter and smelling it, I was trown back into my time. Cycling to and from Delft and allways passing the Duyvis Peanutbutterfactory and then when doing so smelling it. Or when cycling to school, and the wind was turned in the wrong way and we were crossing the canal on a little (bike and passenger) ferry you smelled it and often got hungry on the spot.... though I have to admit, on other people it could sometimes have the opposite effect, they turned green or whatever and had to try to hold on to their breakfast, lunch or dinner
So when opening this jar with yummy peanutbutter I felt great again, 3 little jars long... I managed to ate it all before they left again a short 2 weeks ago.... so in case you think bad bad bad Rob, NOPE... they were really small (my friends really also thought of my good health and diet ofcourse hence the small and not big size jars, very considerate!) and they lasted a good 4 weeks AND I managed to share some of it with my Thai friends here, who, upon discovering the special and superior flavour of Duyvis Pindakaas made a regular dive in them so in the end (first jar) I had to put the remainder on the top shelf, which they could not easily reach, haha.

I remember smiling about my sister when she was living with her family first in Nigeria and later in Indonesia and asking people when they came over for a visit (like me) to bring some of these special Dutch things with them..... lets just say that looking back I now fully appreciate her wishes, which till I started to live here I never really did and allways joked about. Still make these jokes but now about myself and not my sister anymore ;-)

Then they brought 2 chunks of OLD DUTCH CHEESE, wowwww.... so special, because old dutch cheese you can hardly not get here or its at the jewelerstore and they weigh it just like they do the gold here, haha..... so precious that I still have it safely in my fridge here and nobody dares touching it, haha. We have anice bottle of red wine and am thinking about cutting on piece when we finally start drinking that bottle... but then again, I haven't found the right musterd yet, grrrr

And the blessed souls also brought with them some fine cigars to smoke. Thank God the Thai do not appreciate a good cigar that much, except the cursed Kik, who more and more started to dip into my cigars in Holland, and imidiatly started here as well... sadly I am married to him now so I was more or less obliged to share a couple with him. Though I am convinced he doesn't appreciated them as much as I do and I suspect him of smoking them over his lungs! To make things worse the big boss of Simon Cabaret, Kiks employer saw me with one and so Pappa (thats how he is called by all who work for him) got a sampling off all the cigars I received. And to think, in Thailand and for that matter in the whole of South East Asia, one can not get decent quality dutch cigars, let alone my favorite the panatella... except those agio ones with flavourcovering, brrrrr. O and ofcourse those Cuban cigars and more of those less tasty brands, haha. There;s no cigar then a Dutch cigar! But most sad of all is the restrictions on the amount one can take with him.... hence they are now all gone, even though I didn't smoke more then one a day on average.

O and the sweethearts, they also brought with them my cheesecutter/slicer (? - however the word is correctly typed). Now I could finally in a proper way slice slices of cheese from my big multi kilo weighing dutch gouda cheese I bought before the Orange party at J&B's on the 31st of January.... bumped into that priceless (=expensive) piece of cheese while shopping for special delights for the formentioned party to celebrate our Queens real birthday!

And ofcourse the "stroopwafels" were also not forgotten, haha... though allready the next morning we discovered that also the smallest inhabitants of our house had discovered them and declared them as delicious because it was swarming with ants on, between and around them. Ofocurse I was not prepared to surrender them to the ants, as did Kik (he's crazy about them, and, as I discovered soon after, all Thai are, haha). So they suggested to put the stroopwafels in the fridge and the ants would dissapear. And so they did... their hunger for stroopwafels is not big enough for them to stomage the fierce drop in temperature .... they took the fast way out of the fridge or...... uhum.
When asking my Thai friend who visid us regular here for swimming and speaks pretty decent english why they didn't try to safe the ants from a certain freezing death, the answer was simple: we can not kill them, activly poison them, or whatever, but well, we are not oblidged to help them when they are cold or get wet feet, then its up to them if they want to stay or go.
By the way we collected more of such stories but they will service another day no doubt ;-)

Well, do I mis all these things here: yes and No. IN holland I buy a small/lttle jar of peanutbutter these last years maybe once every 3 months, because I like to think of my diet. I cut down heavily on the consumption of normal, rather fatty cheese for the same reasons and maybe once every half year I buy 1 stroopwafel, frshly prepared, on the weekly saterdaymarket, Delft.
But here, I eat it all when I can lay my hands on it.......... and happy to say, my weight is still slowly going down at on this day I weigh around 84,5 kg... a little bit low maybe and still I look like a rather big truck, tank or whatever you want to call it... as Kik says Buffalo............ and to think that my sister allways said that after returning from the tropics one always lost a few extra kilo's, several times she was right I have to admit.... but I hope this time..... I need to fit in my trousers and jacket for Jeroens wedding on the 29th of May, can not have it that it hangs around me like... O well, what the heck... we cros that bridge when we get there!!

Telegraaf over wachtgeldregeling opgestapte wethouders Rotterdam!

Elke dag surf ik naar Google nieuws Nederland om de 'headlines' te bekijken van allerhande nieuwsfeiten die in de nederlandse kranten worden gerapporteert, van groot tot klein nieuws! En, waar ik hier een genoegen aan beleef, ook al is het meestal plaatsvervangende schaamte, zijn de reactie van de lezers op artikelen. Of het nu de Telegraaf is, Trouw, de Volkskrant of het NRC, reacties die enige onderbouwing hebben zijn zeer dun gezaaid. Veel gescheld, veel 'uit de nek'-geklets, etc. is wat ik meestal aantref.
MAAR het geeft wel de onderbuikgevoelens weer van de doorsnee Nederlanders, helaas!
EN het maakt mij duidelijk dat er veel beter moet worden uitgelegd, m.n. door de media..... het lijkt wel of die vaak juist dit soort sentimenten (willen?) oproepen terwijl je mag verwachten dat de schrijvende journalist beter weet... of niet? ;-)

Enfin, vandaag las ik dus een stukje over de wachtgeldregeling van de wethouders in Rotterdam, die zijn opgestapt.
De reden dat zo'n wachtgeledregeling bestaat, ongeacht of je zelf opstapt of weggestuurd wordt, werd natuurlijk niet vermeld. Niet spannend genoeg neem ik dan aan om over te schrijven.

Als wethouder moet je om politieke redenen, elk moment kunnen opstappen, respectievelijk weggestuurd kunnen worden. En ook al zijn de redenen ook zo onredelijk, oneerlijk, onrechtvaardig, je moet dan weg!! Een rechter zou in zo'n situatie het ontslaag ongeldig verklaren resp. de werkgever een groot bedrag op laten hoesten.
MAAR de rechter kan en mag niet oordelen over ontslagen van politiek-publieke ambtsdragers. Je hebt gewoon te gaan, zelfs als er helemaal geen redenen gegeven worden en blijkbaar je kleur haar of ogen niet meer naar de wens zijn van de wegzendende partij.
M.a.w. wethouders, net als ministers en gedeputeerden, hebben totaal geen ontslagbescherming zoals elke andere werknemer in Nederland, van de arbeider op de fabrieksvloer tot aan de president-commissaris van een onderneming!
Ook moet een wethouder om politieke redenen zelf af kunnen treden, resp. verantwoordelijkheid kunnen nemen, hetgeen wij allemaal graag willen toch? Dan mag het niet zo zijn dat er geen (beperkte!!) financiele bescherming is voor die persoon!
Soms ook treedt een wethouder af om juist politieke schade voor zijn gemeente, eigen partij en/of hemzelf verder te voorkomen hetgeen veel meer kan kosten dan als hij/zij aan zou blijven.

En dan laat ik nog maar het punt achterwege van hoe je anders nog enigzins redelijk gekwalificeerde mensen voor dat soort banen kan krijgen....

Nu allemaal redenen om juist de wachtgeldregeling achter de hand te hebben. Het artikel legt de regeling op zich goed uit, van in dit geval de Telegraaf, maar niet het hoe en waarom ervan... ergo weer een berg dom geblaat (excuses voor deze karakterisering) van m.n. PVV-aanhangers. Kan er ook niets aan doen, maar die schijnen hun hart nogal op de tong te hebben liggen.

Of je het er nu mee eens bent of niet, als een wethouder opstapt, weggestuurd of niet, werken onmogelijk gemaakt of niet, het geeft dus geen pas vervolgens over zakkenvullen te praten en dat soort dingen.... want dat is beslist dus niet het geval!!
Komt nog bij dat de betrokken personen relatief maar kort tijd hebben om ander werk te vinden!

Kort? Vraag je je misschien af, Ja kort! Als je een aantal jaren wethouder bent geweest dan is dat een bijzondere periode met heel erg veel druk en dynamiek. Van de een op de andere dag sta je er naast en heb je eigenlijk niets meer te doen en te zeggen, je zit zelfs niet meer in de gemeenteraad (zoals tot 2002 nog wel het geval was). Je zal door een afkick proces heen moeten, althans verreweg de meesten hebben dat nodig... en ik bezweer u, uit persoonlijke ervaring kan ik u vertellen dat je daar meer tijd voor nodig hebt dan je vaak zelf inschat! Dan is vervolgens de resterende tijd om ander werk te vinden... als je die al vindt eigenlijk knap kort!!

De VVD, gelijk trouwens de meeste andere partijen, blinken niet uit in nazorg en begeleiding van oud wethouders, burgemeesters e.d. om ander (passend?) werk te vinden. Men gaat er vaak blijkbaar vanuit dat zich dat vanzelf oplost. Ook dat is een fabeltje. Wat dat betreft zouden politieke partijen daar een punt van moeten maken. Zou wel eens de aantrekkelijkheid om voor die partij ergens een politiek ambt te vervullen alleen maar aantrekkelijker kunnen maken!
Politieke ambtsdragers worden vaak 'lastig' (als dat trouwens al een goed woord ervoor genoemd kan worden) gezien, Ze zijn mondig, hebben vaak een (prettig?) eigenwijs karakter, zijn geen ja-knikkers (als het goed is althans), nemen vaak het initiatief, zijn niet bepaald op hun mondje gevallen, en ga zo maar door.
Nou, een baan waarin die eigenschappen van pas komen die zijn er duidleijk heel wat minder dan ander werk. En als er zo'n baan vrijkomt dan staan er een heel collega-werkzoekenden er natuurlijk voor in de rij en moet je als ex-dit of dat toevallig net diegene zijn die boven komt drijven.

Haha, en als je dan ook nog een chronische ziekte hebt, die voor het functioneren als bijvoorbeeld wethouder niets uitgemaakt heeft, kan je het helemal schudden, zelfs in overheidsland waar dat officieel niet zo hoort te zijn.
Maar goed, dit laatste is voor mij nogal een forse persoonlijke frustratie gebleken ;-)

Kort samengevat:
Het artikel in de Telegraaf is op zich correct, echter door de bedragen bij elkaar op te tellen komt het wel lekker sensationeel over. Door er uberhaupt over te beginnen en dan op deze manier kleurt de Telegraaf een vaststaand gegeven en probeert er een sensatieverhaaltje van te maken: verkoopt mogelijk weer een paar extra kranten!!
En, geloof mij, de Telegraaf is niet de enige die dit doet ;-) (tussen alle rotzooi en nietswaardigheden door is het best een goede, leuke en wakkere krant).

Enne, dit soort te kort door de bocht berichtgeving en het zo sensatiebelust mogelijk presenteren, is dat nu toevallig niet een van de hoofdredenen dat die financieel economische crisis die nu over de wereld rondwaait zo snel en in zo'n omvang is ontstaan? Er is toch geen beter nieuws dan slecht nieuws, geen mooier vermaak dan leedvermaak.... Ook al gaat dat op den duur altijd ten koste van jezelf, als genieter van dat soort verhalen resp. als schrijver of brenger ervan... zoals de media organisaties nu een weinig beginnen te ondervinden ;-)

Enfin, vindt u het na het lezen van mijn geblaat in deze, leuk om het artikeltje van de Telegraaf te lezen en m.n. de reacties van de lezende meute ervan, hierbij de link:

http://www.telegraaf.nl/binnenland/3773352/__Ex-wethouders_krijgen_4_5_ton__.html?p=39,1

Haha, veel leesplezier als je je m.n. dus door die reacties heenworstelt ;-)

O, en ik denk dat ze in Thailand zouden tekenen voor ons soort ptobleempjes!

Tot gauw weer, dit was zo gezegd een tussendoortje ;-)

Writersblock?!

These last weeks when driving home from/to the bar or other places I often think of my weblogs and subjects to write about. I also formulate whole little stories to tell about what is happening here, or with me and/or Kik etc..... but then when back home distraction hits from all corners and before I know it I simply forgot what I wanted to write or report about. From funny things, to the more serious, including frustrations as a "farang" (= foreigner) in for me a strange country, culture etc. ....
Stupid in a way because it is hard to follow and make reading my weblogs decent on once list of things one likes to do!

I hereby apologise to all who took the trouble to look regular into one of my 3 weblogs and not finding new entries in them, time and time again.
But I simply do not like to give up, not on you who read them, and not on myself wanting to report my troubles and tribulations, as me, as in my marriage as well as with the bar and all that goes with it.
So again I made a whole list of subjects I should tackle and write about... sofar 27 in total.
Not to mention the people I need to send an e-mail to, slowly that list is getting embarrasing(?) long and so also in that department I need a lot of catching up to do... O dear, writing this down really hurts when I think how much I have/ned to do these comming days!!
Now you would say: good show, finally.... well I can only say, making that list is easier then executing writing about all these subjects.
Well, those who know me now I can be a stuborn guy........ so lets see how that stuborness will come to something in this case of reporting more regular.
Receiving feedback, questions, etc. wil be very much appreciated ofcourse!!

IMPORTANT: If you like to know when a new entry is published, you can become a follower of the weblog you like to follow. May it be this blog or one or both other blogs as well.....it seems to be very easy to do and one doesn't need to go to my weblogs everytime to see if a new entry has been posted. Very easy and handy for those interested!!
My other weblogs are:
www.thaidutchmarriage.blogspot.com
www.mpgsadventures.blogspot.com

Also, a few people have been entered by me so they get an e-mail of every new entry in one of my weblogs. Please, if you do not like this, feel free to let me know and I'll remove your e-mail from this exclusive little list, I won't hold it against you ;-)

Greetings and please keep me focussed when I stay silent to long!!

Rob

As allways, everything is relative: An article in a Thai English Newspaper

Below you'll find a link to an article in the Nation, and English Thai Newspaper. This article gives another view about gay life here in Thailand. I have to admit that most of it is a true and honest observation, which we foreigners, or farang as we are called here, are not aware off, specially when here on holiday!

But while living here in Thailand, I sofar haven't witnessed much in this area, no experiences to share with you which confirms to content of this atricle. Nonetheless, the stories I hear from Thai gay men, the articles I read in the English Thai newspapers, what I can hear on Thai television, as long as it is in English, all confirm in general what is being said in it.
But most of al, its content runs paralell to several books Kik made me read here, like Ladyboys, the secret world of Thailand's third gender, published by Maverick House, which is a collection of 9 life stories of ladyboys. ALso the book Bangkok Boy, by Chai Pinit, the story of a stolen childhood, also by Maverick House. This is also a book which gives you a pretty honest look in a certain part of Thai life. Those two books are really food for thought, as the saying goes, if not mistaken.
And I don't know if I wrote allready pieces about it, but it also fits the bill as farang seen as mr ATM's, or as dutch would say Mr Flappentap, as an extension to how Thai gay people are being regarded, namely "same same but different".
IN other words, we farang often complain about being seen just as mobile ATM machines, never forget that most gay thai men and ladyboys, or the third gender, are regarded by their families as the same thing, only in general they can spill out less amounts of money then the farang can and run dry earlier as well.

This though is not allways done deliberatly I also have to admit, its simple a consequence of the picking order in a family. And this article gives a wonderfull little insight in just that.
It's a battle EVERY farang has to go trough when going into a relationship with a Thai gay guy. Also yours truly. But then again, don't complain about it, they can not help it, and you cannot help it when you make your first mistakes with it. But one has to learn quickly how to deal with it and how to 'control' a situation like that, not only for your own protection, but also for your partner's!!!

Well, enjoy reading this article, and feel free to comment after having read it. If not too undecent, all comments will be placed ;-)

http://www.nationmultimedia.com/worldhotnews/30099543/Without-equality,-tolerance-for-gays-is-just-a-myth